Change Your Thoughts & You Change Your World

"They always say that time changes things...But you actually have to change them yourself." 

                                                                                         -Andy Warhol

It's been almost a month since I last posted. And a LOT has happened in that time! I was able to go back to Chicago and see so many wonderful people- old friends, family, and mentors who helped me clarify some things and remind me why I moved to Florida in the first place. To say it was refreshing was an understatement, and I am truly appreciative of everyone that I got to see and talk to! And, if that wasn't enough, one of my best friends in the whole world, Liz, came to visit me last weekend! It was a blast getting to experience FSU's Homecoming, show her around campus/Tallahassee, and just generally hanging out and laughing! She's someone who knows me so well, and it was nice to just be 100% myself for a weekend- something I have struggled to do sometimes since I've been here. Thanks for the insanely fun weekend, Lizzy!! 

In addition to fun trips and seeing friends, I have also had a lot of time to think about my life here in Florida. And I came to a startling conclusion...wait for it.... If I was going to be happy here then I cannot just rely on things like my job to make me happy- I have to find it myself. What a concept. I've known this since I got here, but I guess it was just harder for me to figure out what and how to do this in this strange new place. Well, fortunately, I am not the type of person who can just sit around for too long without getting bored, so I decided to look around for some new opportunities to get involved with! 

I tried to look for things that I felt were missing since I moved, and the one obvious thing was service. I have always been raising money for something, volunteering weekly at a service site or two, or working to go on a service trip. Once I pinpointed this as something I had to have more of in my life, I looked around the area to see what opportunities Tallahassee has- and there are a lot! I finally settled on the Ronald McDonald House, and I stopped by on my way home from work one day to ask about volunteer opportunities. This turned into a two-hour conversation with the house manager, and now I am trained and set up to go there at least once a week to help out with the families and kids that are staying there! I feel so grateful to have found somewhere where I feel like I'm giving back, and I get all warm & fuzzy after leaving, so there are perks for me as well :-)

Another thing I did was try to find something that supplemented the things I was missing in my assistantship- mainly "student-affairsy" stuff I enjoy like student contact. We were extended a great opportunity earlier in the semester to sign up to become facilitator for FSU's very own "challenge course". Think about any retreat you've been on- games like Cocoa River, Captain's Coming, etc, and low/high ropes courses that promoted leadership and teambuilding skills- yeah, that's what I'll get to do! Did I mention that I'll get paid for leading groups through these challenge courses?! This past weekend, myself and ten other students (some from the HESA program!) went through a 25-hr training to learn how to facilitate an entire program- icebreakers, elements, which games/initiatives work for certain groups, how to debrief- as well as cycles of group development, theories behind aspects of facilitation, etc. It was SO much fun, and we got to spend the weekend playing and learning from each other and our wonderful trainer, Jordan. I'm pretty sure anyone who knows me knows that this is the perfect thing for me to be doing (umm, hello....getting paid to do icebreakers? YES PLEASE!), and I can't wait to get started leading groups next semester!

So, basically my point is that, if you're unhappy with an aspect of your life, try to change it. I'm not saying that everything is automatically going to be perfect- obviously circumstances often prevent us from changing things the way we want them to, but it's the trying that's going to make you happier. Sitting around and complaining is not productive, and it certainly is not going to make things better. Making an effort is what will eventually bring change, and I've learned that working for it gives me something to look forward to- making me a happier person in the process. 

Until next time...

Seven Lessons Learned in Seven Weeks

I've been here officially for 7 weeks, so I wanted to share 7 things I've learned (or re-discovered) since moving to Tallahassee:

1. I really enjoy being a student again 
I guess I was always a good student, doing what was asked and getting pretty good grades, but I had so much else going on, I just usually did the minimum or pretended I read when I really didn't (shocker I know... ) Now I feel like a real lifelong learner- someone who is actually reading, absorbing, and questioning what I'm supposed to (and more), and actually enjoying myself! Of course, you've got the occasional dry material that one must get through to understand the basics of higher ed, but, for the most part, I am very interested in everything we're talking about, and the research doesn't bother me. I guess it's in part because I know I will actually be using this material in my career, unlike those math word problems I spent so long trying to figure out...

2. Life moves a little slower down here
Whether it's driving, talking, or just walking down the street, it seems like people are not in too much of a hurry to get anywhere. In Chicago, everyone was rushing to get somewhere. You either walked fast or got out of the way, and the driving was aggressive and fast-moving. It was not uncommon to spend a forty-minute commute on a train and not talk to a single person. The south is a little different: drivers tend to move a little slower- always using turn signals and a lot of them being friendly enough to let you in their lane. You go anywhere and people are smiling and saying hi (even when you just got out of the gym and are standing in line at the grocery store, the woman behind you wants to know how your day was). And everyone's accent means it takes them an extra few seconds to get a sentence out. I have not gotten used to it yet, so the jury's still out on whether I like the slower pace yet or not, but right now I'm just trying to enjoy it!

3. Free time (and DVR) is underrated 
Anyone who knows me is well aware that I do not like to be bored. I would rather run around all day and not be home until midnight than sitting on my couch for an hour with nothing to do. My always-wise father continuously reminds me to "stop and smell the roses" aka take a second to enjoy my free time or whatever it is I'm doing at the moment. But so far, I have been less busy than usual, and I am actually enjoying the relaxing time! I've taken full advantage of DVR-ing trashy shows and watching them while eating a bowl of popcorn and cuddling my kitty. I've also been able to schedule travel time to see friends and family, so I'm very thankful for that. As things start getting busier- adding internships, committee obligations, etc- I'll hopefully remember these wonderfully boring moments!

4. I am a runner
This is something I discovered about 2 years ago while I was working at my summer job in Pennsylvania. There's not really a gym there, and one of my best friends suggested I go running with her, so I said why not! That summer, I ran almost every morning, and since then I think I've actually developed a love for the sport. I love it because it's going to be the same here, in Chicago, or anywhere else- a good common ground to start on after moving- and it's just me, my favorite running shoes, and some awesome music. I'm currently training for a half-marathon in February, so we'll see how that goes!!

5. Football is awesome
The football culture here is insane! It was definitely a big part of why I picked the program, partly because I'd been missing that while I was in college, and partly because it literally defines the undergraduate experience at Florida State- and I knew I had to experience how different that would be. Let me tell you- being in the stadium with thousands and thousands of fans, all supporting their school and screaming the same cheers at the top of their lungs is pretty cool! I'm glad I came to such a different school with this kind of atmosphere, and it's made me think I would be okay working somewhere like this after I get my Masters!

6. I have the best friends and family in the world
I'm used to being away from some of my favorite people- from Minnesota to Texas, Pennsylvania to Ohio, and of course, Chicago, I have always had friends all over. It's something I don't mind- calling or Skyping with those people, and if I'm lucky, getting to travel to see them every once in a while. But what I didn't realize is that, for the first time since moving to Chicago, I would leave everyone at the same time. I'm not sure I understood what that would mean until I got down here and realized I'm literally a thousand miles away from anyone I know, and that was hard to come to terms with. However, the people I left behind- no matter what city or state- have been so supportive and wonderful! Calling, texting, writing letters, and even planning visits have all kept me sane and it's a reminder that even though I'm not close to any of them at the moment, that doesn't mean our relationship has changed at all. After all, they say distance makes the heart grow fonder...

7. I'm getting used to working at FSU (and calling myself a Seminole) 
We talk about it all the time as a cohort...where did you come from? What was your favorite thing about your undergrad? What was it like to be a student there? What was the student affairs department like? Every time we get to answer these questions, I can't help but brag about DePaul. I had such a fabulous experience there, and I truly felt like it was my school, that I want everyone to know just how awesome it is! But when I just get nods and smiles talking so passionately about Vincentian Service Day, how much I miss taking the el everyday, or how much fun it was working for DOS/NSFE, I forget that no one here knows what I'm talking about. I'm the only one in the program from Chicago- a consequence of going so far away- and therefore, I have to remind myself that my references to the brown line or even *gasp* snow must be explained instead of being automatically understood. It has taken some getting used to, and there are still times where I get so nostalgic for Chicago that I go home and google the latest news- just to see what's going on. But I am a Seminole now, and It's definitely not a bad place to be. I mean, hey, it was about 80 degrees here today, so I can't complain :-) Plus, I'm building new shared experiences with everyone in my cohort, and that's something that I'll always have with them, which makes me excited to be here!


Until next time...

The Dreaded Axel- Using Figure Skating to Understand Transition

For those of you who don't know, I used to be a figure skater. For about ten years, it was what my entire life revolved around. I would wake up at 5am and my wonderful mother would drive me to the rink so that I could practice before school. After being in class all day, I would be right back at the rink for another few hours of practice and conditioning. And on weekends, you could usually find me at a competition- dressed up in a sequined costume skating a routine I'd done a thousand times to try and win a medal.

What does this have to do with the fact that I moved to go to grad school, you ask? Well, a couple of weeks ago, I was talking to my mom on the phone, telling her how frustrated I was that I hadn't gotten into the swing of things yet. I still didn't know how to get to work without a map, much less anywhere else (it took me an hour to get to Target, when actually it's about fifteen minutes away!), I hadn't figured out what I was doing in my job yet, and I didn't have that core group of friends I was used to relying on. She stopped me and said, "Oh you'll be okay, it's just like when you couldn't get your axel!" I was so confused at first until she explained what she meant- that I just had to think about this transition in terms of practicing for something that was harder than I thought and getting used to a new skill. Let me explain. The axel is a very hard jump for beginning figure skaters- it is a skill that usually takes an average of a year to land perfectly. For ten-year-old me, I was unbelievably anxious to get this jump under my belt. I would practice every single day, thinking that if I just tried it a few more times, surely I would land it. This usually resulted in a few dozen bruises and even a few tears. But I was so impatient and absolutely determined to get it, no matter how long it took. My coach would always remind me of the old adage, "slow and steady wins the race", and she was right. Instead of being frustrated with the fact that I wasn't getting it right away, I had to stop and realize that it was probably going to take time. With steady determination and a little bit of patience, I eventually mastered it. And the feeling of landing that axel after working on it for so long was that much more worth it than if I had landed it after a day!

I couldn't help but think that my mom was right- this transition is like trying to land that axel. It's taking me a lot longer than I thought to settle in and find my rhythm than I first expected. With "adaptability" being one of my strengths, I assumed it would be a breeze to get down here and immediately know what I was doing. When it didn't turn out that way, I became frustrated with myself, thinking that maybe I was doing something wrong. But when I stopped to think about it, I realized it is going to take time. I need to put a little bit of effort every day into what I want to get out of this- whether it's driving around to explore the city, calling new friends to hang out, or finding new opportunities to be involved with at work- and eventually these will all come together to make the experience I expected to have when I imagined this year.

And with a few bruises, some tears, and hopefully amazing new experiences, I will eventually land that axel all over again...and it's going to be so worth that wait!

Getting Used to the Heat: Moving a Thousand Miles and Officially Becoming a Floridian

I started this blog as much to keep in touch with family and friends as to help articulate my own thoughts and feelings while I start this crazy new journey as a grad student and semi-professional working for Florida State.

 You might be wondering why I chose to move 960 miles away from the best city in the world (Chicago), to what is considered the south and has an average temperature of 90 degrees (Tallahassee). Well, my journey into the profession of student affairs actually began a few years ago, at DePaul, when I was working in Orientation over the summer. I had such an amazing time and found that I loved to work in that environment with other students! That same year, I began a job in the Dean of Students office, which quickly became my second home, and where I was able to observe professionals in the field every day. A couple of these wonderful people became my mentors, and while talking one day, one of them suggested that I look into going to grad school. The idea that I could be doing this thing that I had come to love even after I graduated was such a fantastic idea, that I immediately began researching and decided that was what I was going to do!

 I was lucky enough to work for two years with an amazing woman who became a mentor and role model for me- Kelly. She really helped me identify what skills I wanted to work on in order to be prepared for grad school, and we had numerous conversations about why I wanted to go into the profession and what experiences would help me once I got there, which really helped narrow down my choices for the type of program I wanted and also got me ready for interviews. I can definitely say she was a major influence in my decision, and I'm grateful I had her guidance and expertise during that time!

 After MANY conversations with other professionals, current grad students, and family members, I was able to narrow down my choices for schools to four- Florida State being one of them. I ended up choosing three of these to visit for "Interview Days". For those who are unfamiliar, a big component of a lot of student affairs grad programs is the theory-to-practice model which requires students to also work part time at the university in order to put what they're learning in class to real-life situations. For this reason, in addition to getting into the academic program, you also have to secure an assistantship (a bonus is that this usually comes with a tuition waiver!). So, I went to visit all of these schools, and after a month of nonstop traveling and wondering, I was finally offered a job with FSU's International Programs Office as a Marketing Graduate Assistant! I decided three days later to attend FSU in the fall!

Fast forward five months, and I was all packed up and ready to move to Florida! My sister, Kate, had just been offered a teaching job in North Carolina, so she joined in on the road trip and we headed south. After dropping her off in Charlotte, and three days of continuous driving/towing a gigantic UHaul trailer, I finally made it to Tallahassee!

 The first few weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions and new experiences. There was SO much to do when I first got here- declare residency, start my job, attend orientation, unpack in my new apartment, figure out how to get anywhere in this new city, and start classes. Meeting everyone from my cohort was great because we had been in touch since we were all at Visiting Days in February, and now we were all together again- this time as students! It was nice to have twenty-six other people going through the same thing as I was- almost like being in a freshmen residence hall again! I have loved getting to know everyone, and I can tell this is going to be a great year. I'm actually very excited for the classes I'll be taking (two Intro to Student Affairs type classes and one called Ethical Decision Making in Higher Education) because I know I will be using what I'm learning in the future with students I'll be working with. I've been getting settled into my job, too, learning where everything is and who I go to for things. I get to work in the football stadium, which is pretty cool!

 One thing I can't help but do is compare FSU to my experiences at DePaul. I'm sure this is normal for every new job, but I definitely miss the environment and comfort that I had there. I do not like being "the new person" and not knowing how to get things done for myself. I miss the feeling of knowing everyone, and everyone knowing me and what I was capable of. I have not found that core group of friends yet, although everyone is very friendly, so I am not feeling connected to the University or program yet. I am sure this will all come with time, and since I have heard nothing but amazing things about this program, I'm looking forward to getting settled and feeling like I know what I'm doing! But I am definitely appreciating the new experiences I am having every day (like finally going to a college football game!), and I am excited to see what these next few months will bring!

Until next time...